The chef returns…

A few nights ago, I had a sudden crave for fried rice and felt like cooking. It’s been months since I last cooked! It was weird to not able to find a few things in my own kitchen as it’s been conquered by mom and confinement lady.  I secretly felt like I’ve lost my sanctuary…

Simple fried rice with Chinese sausage and chicken but it was extra tastier after one-month of abstinence!

Note: 1st time in history, baby’s mom cooked for the hired confinement aunty!

Total-mom or sophisticated?

Finally went for my long overdue hair cut and colour yesterday. Satisfied and felt 'normal' again after enduring the "aunty" look for 1 month! My hair length was at the 'in between' phase - too short to tie up nicely but too long for the hot weather +heaty confinement food! The perpetual hair clip (fringe too long) almost left a mark on my scalp.

Although it looks like I'm joining the total-mom-hair-cut club with the short length ( some call it sophisticated cut), I think it's worth the hassle of getting into town, ensuring someone is with bb S, pressing for time to be home in max 4 hours.

I'm happified and not thinking too much of the warnings by my hairdresser and colour technician that shedding of hair is expected into the 5th or 6th month post partum. Yikes!

Happy 1st month

Thank God for the 30 days! As I held Sophie today, I know that very soon, I will miss the feeling of holding her whole body in my arms (as she grows bigger and bigger!!). Just a matter of a week or two ago, I was able to cup her with one arm, but I need two arms now. Sometimes I still think it's surreal and asked M “How did this little thing manage to hide in my tummy for 9 months?” The first few times M responded with “What kind of stupid question is that". Now, he just ignore me :). It is really amazing how this little fella has accompanied ME and only ME for the past 9 months, just me and her, doing everything together, 24/7, sharing every emotions of mine, being with me as I slogged through the nights in the office, kicking me to signal me to go home and rest! I get all teary every time I think of that... I know this may be a bit late, but I'm finally getting gushy about my pregnancy. I was quite neutral through out my pregnancy (apart from the 1st 2 days after discovering that I was preggers). I was not overly in awe or sentimental (if you remember, I didn't tear when I first saw the sonogram). I promise to be gushier next round!

Oh just humour me to be gushy for the last time today:  I wish I can cup her in my arms forever (ok, the cynics are probably vomiting by now). As my dad was telling me: “Soon she will grow and be able to argue with you...”(Gulp).  Let me indulge in my dream for a little longer...

Confession of a control freak

Last night at 1137 pm , it dawn on me that my life is “different" now. While some of my friends are still out there counting down, I was already in my PJ on a new year's eve. Confession: I felt miserable. But after about an hour, it finally struck on me that I'm a mom! I felt peaceful...

Although it's been more than 3 weeks since the arrival of Sophie and 10 months since I prepared myself for “motherhood”, I realised that a big part of me may still be unprepared, especially emotionally. My emotions have been on a roller-coaster ride. I am still attributing it to hormones! Sometimes I seem to have a lot in my mind, other times, I caught myself zoning out and staring in the air, empty headed. Happiness and sadness come and go like the wind.

Despite all the reading, nesting, antenatal classes, self-talk, tips from others, I supposed one can never be “fully”prepared for motherhood. . Being a control freak, I like “certainty” and things to be “in order”. I even prepared an Excel schedule for feeding during my 30+week of pregnancy, mentally ready for taxing 2-hourly feeding (obviously the worksheet is no where to be found now!)

Needless to say, daddy M has been on the ride with me, walking on shells, being the best supporter he can be! I am thankful. I really am.

I am learning, day by day, bit by bit, to accept what is “out of control”and things not done “my” way. I'm accepting that a smallie is depending on me and will dominate a big part of my life and I should enjoy every single bit of it.

Friends ask me what's my wish and resolution, well I think it will be – take things easy, let go and let God.

Future Reminiscence

Nice shots that we'll look back with warmth and perhaps tears of joy one day...

Birdies

Every afternoon, we leave Sophie on the day bed in the living room to do some kicking and stretching. At the same time, she is accompanied by 2 flash cards with either 2 birdies or 2 apples, in the colours that she can identify. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not flashing the cards and teaching her how to read yet – she's only 21 days old!

I just thought maybe it's nice to let her see some things... and the 2 little birds are like her friends. Anyway, her attention span is only 3 minutes max, before she starts to look for her pacifier!

Post-natal pampering

I like my masseur's job. Everyday, with her Hello Kitty van, she goes into homes of new mothers who welcome her with joy. She brightens their days. She takes their minds off crying babies, breast feeding, diaper change and the battle of handling a new born. Just like what she does to me. I look forward to her arrival everyday. For that 1 hour and 15 min, I pamper myself by forgetting everything and imagining having a massage by the sea in Phuket. The massage comes with post-natal wrap but for what it's worth, the relaxation is sufficient for me! Inch loss is secondary (for now).

You would imagine post-natal masseurs are usually aunties in their 40s + but Sharon is different, as you can tell from her funky van. She's  a bubbly girl in her 30s yet with very firm and strong strokes. I seriously think all new moms should indulge in post-natal massage to maintain sanity! We deserve it :)