It's been a while since I posted about happy list, forgetting the origins of my blog - a record of my appreciation of little things in life. So there you go, some of the 'happy' things that I see in my life and people around me. 
I started working as a part-time waitress in Yellow Light in my teens, on ad-hoc basis, when the restaurant needed help. 20 years later, I got promoted to be the sous-chef. Ahem, not exactly sous-chef per se, but in charge of the mise-en-place for Tom Yam soup and some simple stir fries… Last weekend, Shih and I relived my childhood's masak-masak dream in YL kitchen due to last-minute staff shortage. It was more like a girly cactch-up session because Daddy M who was dining in the restaurant could hear our laughter coming from the kitchen (oops!). It was an honour to be able to 'cook' with my dear friend, the executive chef. This is definitely a keepsafe picture.
We were caught by surprise when she walked straight to the almost-green Poinsettia, bent down and kissed it. Speechless.
Lesson to learn from a 15 month old…
This post is a wake up call and reminder for myself. Firstly, I am sorry, daddy M and thank you for being there for me.
Recent pent-up work stress has caused a roller-coaster ride in my emotions. On several occasions, I have lost the ability to encounter conflict calmly and flew into a fit of rage over the smallest issue. It has affected my mental and physical state. It has definitely affected daddy M.
I could start a day in a joyful mood and before I knew it, things started to crash down on me like a wave and I would go under. Emotions welled up and my attitude headed south, words that came out of me cut like a knife. My tone turned from high-pitch to cruel tongue lashing, without thinking of the consequences. Even having S around could not stop me. She kept quiet as if she knew what’s happening and observed.
The aftermath: Drained. Regrets. Repented. Pretended that S had not heard and did not understand why mommy acted so strangely…Bad thoughts follow suit – “Bad wife, bad mom, bad daughter.”
You’ll probably think that I’m having a ‘rich people problem’. I’m not rich per se. But I have a husband, a daughter, a job and a God. Compared to the less fortunate or those who are striving to survive after a catastrophe, I am in a much better state. And if work is the root cause, there are always other jobs around.
I know all these. Perhaps you have been in my shoes before, perhaps not.
I sought God over and over.
Yesterday He subtly gave me an answer…
I was casually singing the “ABC” nursery rhyme to S (which she has watched a hundred times over Youtube):-
Me: A.B.C.D. E.F.__
S: G
Me:?? (maybe I heard wrongly)
Me: H.I.J.K.L.M.N.O.__
S: P
Me: !!!!
Me: Q.R.S.T.U.__
S: V
Me: (omg)
Me: W.X.Y. and__
S: Zee
Me: I did not teach her. I hardly sang the song to her. She only watched it from Youtube on weekends!
A voice within me: Be a role model. She learns from you. She sees, listens and mimics. All the hardship that you’re going through, I understand. Leave it to me. Be slow to speak and you will be slow to wrath. Enjoy your daughter. Enjoy your husband. Pick yourself up. Enjoy the journey. Be slow to speak. Be slow to speak. You’re complete in Christ.
I got it. I shall try to see and talk goodness. The Lord will fill me with whatever that I lack. As daddy M said: “Don’t count on your own effort.”
xoxo,
Ms condemnation free
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus – Romans 8:1
Our Monday leisurely afternoon PLAN– in a park, playing bubbles. Pierce Reservoir seemed like the nearest choice.
The park was peacefully quiet. No crowd. No joggers. Only a few lovers/couples sitting around (having affairs according to daddy M).
Picnic mat, checked. Camera, checked. Bubbles, checked. Snacks, checked.
As bb S and I sat down, trying to open a bottle of bubbles, a MONKEY came out of nowhere behind S (and our bag)!
“AH!!!” was all I said and froze, while the monkey got closer and slowly towards the bag.
SNAP SNAP! Wake up SK! Protect your child!
My delayed maternal instinct kicked in and I scooped S into my arms.
The monkey ROBBED a ziplock bag with a container and spoon in it. Haha! Gotcha monkey, the container is empty! It’s our feeding container!
Where was daddy M? He was on the phone, about twenty steps away, back facing us and missed the ‘15-second’ happening.
We packed our bags and left.
No wonder the park was EMPTY because it’s a monkey land! And we thought we had found a hidden gem…
Let’s do impromptu outing next time!
I am a firm believer, or rather, I WAS a firm believer of proper eating habits, ie no running around, no TV during meal times and vege is a must. S has a designated feeding chair where she is usually buckled up for feeding. It had worked well until past two weeks. She started to refuse solids- fish porridge, chicken porridge, rice with soup, macaroni soup, mee sua soup, fried bee hoon, fried rice. Anything you can think of. Maximum three mouthful. It’s frustrating but I am not bowing down.
How about mee sua with tomatoe pasta sauce topped with slices of cheese!?
“Yes, please!”
“But, please turn on my favourite sing-along program FIRST.”
Morals of the story: 1) Be flexible and less anal; 2) It doesn’t matter what it takes, as long as it works; 3) A child will turn out well even if she watches TV during mealtimes and 4) It’s just a passing stage.
How much would you pay for this plate of nasi lemak? My cousin thinks we can easily charge S$3.50-4.00. This is what we do whenever mom whips up something special at home- “guess how much”. I think S$4 is a steal for the flavour and generosity. Everything comes in ‘extra’ dosage. Extra prawns, extra ikan bilis, extra chilli, extra rice…
In the last three delicious weeks, our wide menu selection has covered Penang fried koey teow, assam fish curry, salted fish fried rice, herbal chicken, just to name a few. That’s my mom. She loves to feed us. Daddy M cringed when he realised that mom is leaving in a week’s time. Bye Bye yumilicious food, hi again salad and plain noodle soup (SK diet plan).
I lost my cool today at work , over an unfair judgement. It was aggravated by the lack of sleep as I finished work at 2.30am last night. I left early to do some soul searching.
Still, there’s no excuse to lose my temper. Giving vent to anger at work is inappropriate. Period.
I thought motherhood is able to help me see things in perspective and not rattled. Obviously not.
Again, I start to question the viability of my job, wondering if I’m in denial. Ex-colleagues who have left tell me that my company is one of the best place to work and they miss it. Perhaps culture and dynamics have somewhat changed…
I think I’ve done my best. Somehow it’s still not good enough. I could see the criticism as challenges to overcome, making my work more rewarding, or I could think that I’m a constant target.
I need wisdom.
This is as close as it gets the distance between my mom and S. We are still dumbfounded at their strange relationship. S has no qualms greeting and being around my mom, but just not to be carried or fed by her. Although there’s a marked improvement since last year but definitely not ideal… So my mom has no other choice but to spend her days watching TV. If there is any competition out there on the maximum number of Cantonese series one can watch in the shortest time, my mom wins hands down. Her record so far: three Cantonese series in ONE week.
It’s a mystery why S reacts this way but we sure hope their relationship will blossom, some day…
Working in the financial sector often expose me to the ugly side of human nature. Today would be one of those days... Before I could even read or see the clips on the 8.9m earthquake in Japan, I (along with the team) was asked to comment on how the tsunami could affect the stock market. Seriously, is this all we care? How earnings could be hit? How share price could plunge? NOBODY was concerned of the precious lives that might have been lost or the number of homes destroyed. It’s sad. But it’s real. Unfortunately, I am part of this unsympathetic industry.
My prayers go to those who are affected by the quake.
Isaiah 54:9 - “This is like the days of Noah to me: as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you, and will not rebuke you…”
I believe every parent thinks that their children are the brightest and most intelligent. I’m no exception.
SK: My god is so ____
S: BIG
SK: Jesus loves____
S: ME
SK: I’m 1,2,3 and you’re _____
S: ABC
SK: Bon Jour
S: Bon SU
SK: Jesus bless you from the crown of you head to the soles of your feet. Amen.
S: AH MIN
Recently, two 19-year old interns (twin girls) joined us at work . They are cute, smart and bubbly. Somehow they speak with an accent which some of my colleagues call the ‘affluent slang’ (can you see my eyes rolling). Talking to them makes me feel YOUNG at heart and reminds me how precious is innocence. Some excerpts of our conversation:-
Intern 1: Do you drive?
SK: Yup
Intern 1 : I’m so scared because I have a driving test coming soon. I’m scared to drive…It’s so scary…”
SK: ????
********************
Intern 2: How long have you been married?
SK: 3 years
Intern 2: Wow! That’s long!
SK: …..
********************
Intern 1: How old are you?
SK: ……
Intern 1: My brother told me that once you hit 25, everything goes downhill
SK: ……
********************
SK: So, which university are you going?
Intern 2: Don’t know… we’re trying Brown, Stanford, Duke, Princeton, maybe Cornell
SK: …….
********************
Then I saw this picture, and I felt better… I totally agree with Kate Moss.
Note: They are not bimbos, in fact they are straight A students who are efficient at work!
Following what SY blogged about her family snippets, I wonder what are the dynamics of MSKS.
Christ-centred marriage. M and I know that Christ is the centre of a marriage. Cynics may call us naive and don’t get us wrong – we are not ‘holy’ or ‘religious’. But real-life statistics have shown that failed marriages around us often lack the intervention of Christ. To us, we need a third party to make a marriage work and it’s none other than Christ. When passion runs dry after honeymoon years (I’m sure there are exceptions) – can a couple still live happily ever after? When arguments get over heated, how do we reconcile and move on? When mistakes are made, how does one forgive their spouse? When temptation arises, how does one overcome? When financial problems hit, how do we cope? We believe He has all the answers.
Grace parenting. No condemnation. Guilt free parenting. No condemnation does not mean no disciplining, but letting S know that she is loved no matter what. Jesus, mommy and daddy loves her not on her performance. We advocate praise and encouragement. We want to make her feel secure and significant. We don’t allow vocabulary such as ‘shame shame’, ‘naughty’ or any negative labelling at home. Of course we are not perfect yet and we DO lose our cool. The importance is to know that we are still righteous and continue to bring grace back. This is our ideal way of parenting and we are learning bit by bit everyday. Even if all else fails, we hope the least she gets is “Jesus loves me”.
Work -life balance. I don’t belong to the 9 to 5 group and my hours can be erratic at times. But as much as I can, I strive to put family first. M and I made a pact 5 years ago before I accepted the current job that we would remind each other when one of us is ‘consumed’ by work or lose focus on family. I guess it has worked out well all these years. I’m thankful that M can easily hold the fort and take on the hats of daddy & mommy when work requires me be away. I like my job, 80% of the time. So until I find something better (in my eyes), I will continue to do what I’m doing…
Group hug . Our daily MUST-do.
Our alternate Sundays are usually long from 9am to 5pm in church - serving and service, which leaves us enough time for dinner and to wind down. This Sunday, we took an impromptu excursion to the beach. It was a compressed fun-filled 1 hour with lots of laughter and sand! We were home by 7.30pm, still had time to cook a sumptuous dinner, got some office work done followed by our bed-time ritual. Surprisingly I am still wide-awake with energy to blog! Perfect testimony of how our time is blessed in abundance even as we sow in His ministry!
And of course, the day wouldn’t have been complete without this picture!
Psalm 65:11 :- “You crown the year with Your goodness, and Your paths drip with abundance.
My life is full. Family, job and church. It is contented. But recently, I realised that I leave very little space for “ME” time, which may be the cause of my close-to-burn-out snippy attitude of late.
Today as I pampered myself with a two-hour pedi/manicure session, it dawned on me the importance of having time to MYSELF. No work, no thoughts, no worries, no plans, no conversation (small talk is allowed), no pressure, no obligation, no baby, no husband, no friends. Just ME. Guilt-free ME time…
While daddy M’s ME time could be his one-hour daily TV routine, it looks like mine needs a bit more planning and may cost more (wink).
I’m thinking along the lines of a hair spa (oh how much I miss this!), full pedi/manicure instead of a 20minute express service, full body scrub and massage in a spa instead of having the masseur over to our home, facial, yoga, staring at the sea, listen to the waves, go for a swim, candles and music in the shower…
Yeah, I shall do this. Once a week, at the minimum.
