Monday, January 5, 2009

Dating game

A friend of mine recently met someone new.

Me: Are you together?
Friend: No. We’re not together.
Me: Are you seeing each other but not exclusive?
Friend: We’re dating.

Frowned. I didn’t understand but didn’t want to impose. Questions started to pop up in my head. When do we start saying that we’re together or seeing each other exclusively? When do we say we’re in a courtship? Is it from the first kiss? First hand-holding? Mutual agreement? How do you tell if you've moved from stage 1 (dating) to 2 (being together)?

Found this from the net.

Contemporary dating is generally a self-focused past time. It is characterized by expectations of physical/emotional intimacy without commitment. Self-gratification is paramount. If either party is no longer gratified the relationship ends; thus, a cycle of short-term relationship begins and continues.

Blah.

After pondering for a long long while I think I’ve got it. My version:-

Dating - a phase where a man and a woman with interest for each other meet a few times a week, send each other non-imposing sms. Physical contact is kept at a minimal level and plans with friends come first. When the man and woman start holding hands and can't wait to see each other everyday, they've moved on to the next stage.

Somehow I think holding hands is a key sign that you’re ready to ‘be together’. Holding hands sends out unspoken signals that you’re fond of each other. A woman would not let a man hold her hand if she’s not chemically attracted to him. A man usually thinks through over and over in his head before he has the courage to hold a woman’s hand (excluding flirts/playboys/one-night stands). You may disagree with me and have other 'advance' indicators but hey, I'm a nerd in disguise after all...

2 comments:

Sin Yee said...

My interpretation:

are you together ?
no (means we are not having sex)

are you seeing each other ?
yes, we are dating (meaning we meet each other often, companionship, hold hands if the moment take us) .we have interest in each other but not "steady" yet . haha

Unknown said...

This is interesting and FAMILIAR!
and I agree with SY's interpretation!